Willow Willow was born into a very boring English family that did nothing in particular to have earned the family wealth bestowed upon them by the Royal Family. Willow, however, was anything but boring. As a child, his favorite activities were collecting toadstools and mayflies. He would often boil these and sell the liquor at a roadside stand calling it “English Tea.” It was very popular with the locals, at least to those that lived through the experience. Having no interest in learning the finer points of sticking one’s nose in the air, his passion was to find new ways to entertain himself. If others joined him, so much the better. Willow is credited with the creation of water polo, although in his version, most of the horses and riders drowned during the game. He also attempted to start a new annual nighttime cricket tournament. Unfortunately, the inaugural event turned into a brawl when they ran out of live crickets. Barely escaping with his life, Willow fled to France where he joined a group of devout Quakers. While there, he taught the brethren his family’s secret dried oat recipe. In return, Willow learned various musical styles from Gregorian Chant to the Funky Chicken. Wanting to show off his new found talent, he became a cabaret dancer at the Pepe Le Pew Café in Paris and achieved much acclaim for his nightly rendition of “Old Man River.” When the café went bankrupt, Rhys was given severance pay in French wine. Shortly thereafter in a chance meeting with Lord Fafnir near La Tour Eiffel, an inebriated Willow agreed to join Myschyffe Managed. He has regretted it ever since.