Petronya Jo Fejes Petronya Jo Fejes (Petra for short) knows squalor well. She was born and raised in a brothel as her mother was one of the “working girls” at The Blue Danube in Budapest known for servicing the Austrian and Hungarian nobility. Petra never knew the identity of her father but, based on childhood stories, it was either Count Cuttlefish the Squat or Runcible, the Duke of Flatulence. Petra’s fondest memories of her childhood include her mother singing her to sleep to the lullaby “I Want to Rock and Roll All Night and Party Every Day.” She keeps to this day the red fishnet stockings used to swaddle her as a baby. Not wanting to follow in her mother’s low commission career, she moved to the convent Our Lady of Subservience at the age of 14 in order to become a legal pauper (i.e., nun). She soon left when she became aware that the Mother Superior had made a sweetheart deal with the Knights Fraternity Tappa Keg which required the younger nuns to practice their subservience to the knights at frat parties. From there, Petra transferred to Our Lady of Forgetfulness, where she spent the next 20 years learning the finer arts of meekness and indecision while sharpening her stubbornness skills. She lived there happily until Sister Simpleminded and Sister Blondemoment tried to dry clean the tapestries using kerosene. The convent burnt to the ground in the resulting inferno. Since then Petra slowly made her way into western Europe trying to display her honesty and virtuousness to anyone who cared to listen. But it is hard to take seriously a virgin wearing red fishnet stockings. All this makes her perfect fodder for Fafnir’s group. The other members have all wagered on which one of them will make Petra crack first.